9 months we’ve been up here already. Wow. Wife’s good, she’s got a job teaching 4yr olds lined up for the fall, so that’s right up her alley. Kids are good, they both adjusted well this school year at the new school and both did well enough to move up a grade for next year. I’m doing good, been exercising and riding as much as I can. Still not drinking. Job’s goo, no wait. Job’s not so good.
Had the “you’re fucking up and if you don’t get better then we’ll can your ass” talk with my boss yesterday. Of course they put it a little more nicely than that. It’s a “feedback” session where they sit you down and go over what you’re still doing wrong after 9 months of crazy schedule, too much work in too little time and not enough training to learn it effectively working there. Then there’s the “you’re a senior engineer you should be doing better” bit they give you. And of course they’re right. Now that I’ve stopped and thought about how I’m going to fix this, they’re absolutely right. I haven’t been performing up to par on my work. I should’ve already figured a way to learn my job the correct way, circumstances/piss poor shitty planning on the customers part and the management caving be damned.
Yesterday was a rough day after having that session with my boss(technical lead) and the office manager. Was full of a whole bunch of angst, anger, self pity, etc…yesterday. But then I talked to my sponsor yesterday and had a nice little bitch session with him. He suggested I treat this as a project, thus removing emotion from the equation, and come up with a plan to fix it. Well, 24(hours) later and here we are. Got a plan, know how I’m going to fix it, and let’s go.
Thank God I went and got a sponsor and started talking with him regularly. It’s only been a couple months, but I can’t imagine going through this without the support of someone who know’s exactly what it’s like. And the best news is? I haven’t felt like drinking at all during this.