I envy you your faith

…how do I find mine?

one of the major tenets of the 12 step program is to surrender to a higher power.  doesn’t have to be god or jesus or whatever, just a higher, supreme being.  I can’t even do that.

I just can’t, or won’t I guess.  I can’t convince myself that there is a god.  I spose I at least believe in some sort of intelligent creator that made the universe, but there’s just so many interpretations out there of what god is.  I was raised catholic and used to have a fairly strong faith.  Nowadays, there’s just more questions than anything.  I went from having my beliefs, to having to question my beliefs b/c of my wife and how she was raised in the Church of Christ, and now I’m so far out there I don’t know what I believe.

Science everyday discovers more about our world and our universe that just throw so much confusion into my mind.  I spose my take on everything is this:

– the writers of the bible left out stuff in the bible like dinosaurs and aliens, and whatnot b/c they had no friggin clue about any of it, b/c they didn’t have science

– the fidelity of the bible is just very careful meticulous writing over several centuries by different authors connected somehow

– the miracles described in the bible are just occurrences that seemed like miracles that could be discredited easily by modern science and knowledge; and have just been propagated over the centuries.  phone game.  whisper a secret in my ear, then I do it to someone, then they do, then they do, then so on…and see how much the story changes.  we played that in 2nd grade

so either there is a god or there isn’t.  either the universe was created by a big bang, or there’s some way to reconcile what we know via science and what the bible teaches.

i don’t know.

~ by sobriety6923 on March 9, 2010.