The question, rather….

is not whether I will ever drink again.

It is whether I love my family, my wife, my daughter, my son, myself, enough to never drink again.

I don’t think I’m there right now.  That old man is a real motherfucker, and he steals a lot of the love you had in your heart, maybe even makes you less able to love.  certainly not anything besides that old mf’er anyway.

Love is like a rose, blah blah blah…ya, but I can see it as something that has to be nurtured, and the stronger it is the more love it’s capable of. I think right now I’m more like a wilted weed than anything resembling a beautfilul rose capable of endless agape love.  But hey, it’s a goal.

13 days sober today, for the umpteenth time.  11 days to live. …if my theory of dying before turning 34 turns true. here’s hoping for some more miles to go before I sleep.

best wishes constant reader


~ by sobriety6923 on July 12, 2010.

3 Responses to “The question, rather….”

  1. You’ve got to love yourself some first before you can expect endless agape love. Each time you deny the urge, attempt to love yourself for the achievement! It’s like building your selfesteem all over again. It will come with the success.Each mile you ride gets you closer to the goal and thus happier with yourself and one day a love for yourself and your ability to achieve will come.
    13 clear! Awesome! 11 days til 34–you’ll make it! I have faith in you! Plus, I can’t age gracefully without you to ponder over ridiculous aging issues with! Happy BDay in advance! Think I know what you should celebrate!

  2. Eleven days from now I want to be able to send you a happy birthday greeting.

  3. thanks guys.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: