Notes on Giving Up Your Best Friend


this is something I posted somewhere else a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, but I felt like including it here too.

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At first you were acquaintances, and you used to hang out and have a good time, then you became good friends and got to know everything about each other, and then you were best friends where you didn’t even bother seeing anyone else; but over the years the friendship has kind of faded and it’s more of a love hate relationship. When you’re around it, you’re having the best of times, you feel great, you’ve got no worries, and all the day’s stress is gone.

Then, when it leaves, you’re left alone (again), worn out, aching, head wrapped in fuzzy layers of wet rotting gauze, and not looking forward to the day; rather to the next time it comes around. Sometimes you can’t even function without it being around a little bit. It’s a virus that has wormed its way into you for so long that it’s cozied up right next to the part of your brain that controls rational thought.

It’s jealous. It doesn’t want you to have any other friends, it makes you drive away the purest and best parts of your old life before it came along. It systematically destroys all your old relationships until you’ve got nothing left to fall back on but it so that you’re totally dependent on it. It makes you think you can’t live without it, and it damn sure makes you feel that way. If you try to let it go for a day even, it drops the hammer on you and like a scorned lover makes you feel so bad you’ve got no choice but to go crawling back to it.

You may continue in this vein for years. You may continue for your entire life. But, maybe one day you meet something else. The else is so exotic and different than what you’re used to. It’s so foreign to you that you have trouble even accepting it. Even contemplating the else is so opposite to what your definition of normal is.

Maybe the else opens your eyes to see through the fog you’ve been lost in, wandering around in for years with no compass. The else makes you rethink what a friend should be. You’ve been with the it for so long you don’t even realize how much the it has warped the way you think. All this time your friends and family and doctor have told you “this isn’t normal” but the it has always reassured you and muted their arguments to where you forget about them and pay attention only to the it. But the else lets you rethink that. The else gives you a compass in the fog.

For the first time in years, you’re a little less tainted by the it. You see the day differently, you see the world differently. All of a sudden there’s a lightening of the fog, and once it starts, past the initial hardship of getting through it, it builds on itself. You become aware that while all these years you were so dependent on the it and needed it to survive, it was also dependent on you: completely. While you can turn away from the it if you have the strength and prosper from the else, the it has nothing other to feed on than you. The more and longer you are friends with the else, the weaker and weaker the it is, because you have finally purged yourself from what you thought was your best friend. But, now you realize that all those years you thought the it was your best friend, it was just using you and feeding on you.

All this time you thought you loved the it but there’s the rub – You didn’t, you were just addicted to the it.

Old, good friends are hard to let go of. They become a part of who you are, and how you define yourself. Then one day by chance, you meet another friend, one that you had forgotten about a long time ago. You start reconnecting and you start fixing your life.

You’ve come out of the fog and can clearly see your path in front of you unobstructed by the it. The else has helped you do this, and will sustain you down the path. The else has helped you reconnect with other old good friends that had been long neglected. The it will always be lurking, and will always be willing to welcome you back to the fog. You may even take the it up on its offer sometime. However, the else will also always be there.

The else will help you stay good with all that is pure in your life, and away from the it and all that is bad.

Remember the good, forget the bad.

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~ by sobriety6923 on August 23, 2010.

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