Guest Author


Author’s Note:
The below is from a Guest Author whom I invited to write a piece for this blog involving her experiences with alcohol. At first, she was reluctant, but I think you dear reader will understand the pain that may be wrought in alcohol’s wake after reading her thoughts below. Powerful Stuff. It’s helping me open my eyes. And keep them open.

First Exchange
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No, no and no. Wanna know why? (here comes the part where I turn into a real bitch again. I’m really a warm, loving woman until it comes to this subject.)

Here’s my input for your blog: I hate alcoholics and their self-centered bullshit. That’s all I have to offer.

My entire life I’ve been second to booze, at least when it comes to men. My mom drank a lot but I don’t think she was an alcoholic. I have NEVER EVER mattered to a man more than their drink. Do you know how that feels? IT SUCKS.

I’m jealous of your wife because at least you’re trying. The last time I mentioned to my husband that PERHAPS MAYBE his drinking is getting in the way of a happy life for us, his reply was “what, did you watch Oprah today or something?” And he walked away from me.

For some reason reading your blog has just opened the floodgates for me. I don’t know what it is. And you said to call you. I can’t call you. Does your wife read your blog? Won’t she wonder who I am? My husband would have a fit if I started calling you.

Besides, I learned the hard way. Nobody can persuade a drinker not to drink. Certainly not my sob story. I guarantee you, not one person will read my stuff and think “jeez, look how f’d up her life is. I better stop drinking so that my wife/kids/dog doesn’t end up bitter like her.” Nope!

So I appreciate the offer. But I’d need a box of kleenex and a bottle of xanax to get through it. And it would take forever. I could write a book on how alchohol has affected my life. A book.

My Response
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my wife does read it when she gets time, and I’ve told her about you. You’re already wrong about not having one single reader read your stuff and think that. You’ve already got one. It’s helping me understand how I’ve affected my wife and kids all this time. the count stands at two right now, for the times my wife was going to leave me, pack up the kids and go, but by some miracle I persuaded her to stay.

the thing about the thorns in your side….if you let them stay there they fester and infect. It’s taken me 12 years and several wake ups to realize that. you’ve already begun writing your book. you’ll write more when you’re ready. the first lines read “I hate alcoholics and their self-centered bullshit.”

2nd Exchange
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Okay, I’ll take your bait.

Here’s the last line — Alcoholics use you up and spit you out and then they die. You’ll stand over their grave with an empty heart wondering what the appeal was. If you’re raised by an alcoholic, you’ll spend your entire childhood trying to please them — when the only thing that pleases them comes out of a bottle. But you don’t know that, you’re only a kid. The likelihood of a decent self-esteem??? Nada.

Then chances are your sibling will be an alcoholic. It runs in the family, you know. You’ll spend the first half of your adult life trying to change them. Look at how you’re ruining your life. Please stop drinking. Mom and dad are already gone, please don’t kill yourself.

Ma’am, we’re sorry but his liver is fried. It will now begin to release ammonia which will travel to his brain. It will destroy his brain. Please get his affairs in order, this will happen quickly. A week later your older brother, who used to be a genius, is a vegetable. A week after that you put in him in the ground. Everyone at the funeral says “what a waste.” Yeah, my brother the waste.

And chances are you’ll marry an alcoholic. It’s all you know. It’s comfortable. And dad thinks he’s great!! Your dad will walk you down the aisle and place you into the arms of his drinking buddy. Be happy, his wedding card reads. Sure, dad. Are you gonna come help me pack when I leave him? Am I gonna have a place to go? Why didn’t I see how bad this was gonna be? Why didn’t I have the self-esteem to walk away before we got married?

Oooops, dad, you just got esophageal cancer. Probably brought on by heavy smoking and drinking. Nice. I’ll bury you next to mom. She was a good wife. She did what you asked. She bought your bottle every week.

Festered and infected. It’s too late!! I sound like a bitter old woman.

I acutally have a pretty nice life. I look at the bright side, I’m happy for the little pleasures in life. I’ve got two gorgeous smart kids. I have a new puppy that brings me so much joy. For all their faults, my parents did something right. I turned out okay.

I’m thankful I didn’t inherit the alcoholic gene. But I’m already worried about my kids. I took my 7-yr-old son to the dentist last week and he wonders out loud if he can have the tube over his nose with the funny gas in it. He remembers it. He liked it. Oh, shit.

If you are truly an alcoholic, then don’t ever touch the stuff again. And this turning it over to a higher power crap….. YOU HAVE THE POWER. Go home and hug your wife, hug your kids, don’t ever take them for granted…. be the best husband and father you can be. The end.

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~ by sobriety6923 on September 27, 2010.

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