Be honest with yourself. brutally.  srsly.  kthxbai.

yesterday was a beautiful friggin day.  The notion to grill up some burgers and dogs hit me.  so of course what else hit?  you guessed it.  hey, let’s go get a 6 pack since we have to get the burgers anyway.  we’ll just have a couple beers.

ok, fine, let’s run it by the wife first.  hey babe, how would you feel if I went ahead and got a six pack?  maybe drink a few tonight with grilling and the rest watching football tomorrow?  ya ok sure, reservations, you know you shouldn’t etc, etc….she did her part.  I hesitate to say her “job”.  but people who live with alkies encourage us without even knowing it, just by being passive.

so I’m sitting there thinking about it, and I realize I’m totally lying.  I’m not going to just have a couple beers.  I’ll crack one open to start grilling, then have another couple while grilling, then at least one more with eating.  that’s 4 gone already.  holy shit that was fast.  then I’ll prolly want the other two at bedtime.  I can down those fuckers pretty fast. anybody ever watch the man show when it was on?  they had this guy “the fox” who played the organ for the show and did stupid songs, but his schtick was at the end of the show he’d lead the audience in the ziggy socky cheer, at the end of which he’d down 2 pints of beer in 2 gulps.  guy was amazing.  ya, he’s dead now.  prolly alcohol related. i’m not that good, but close.

so I didn’t get the 6 pack, b/c I realized even tho it started with honest enough intentions, it wouldn’t have stayed that way.  it gets exponential.  fast.

but I was able to be honest about it.  I was honest with my wife.  I was honest with myself.  I was sober.

I was sober.


~ by sobriety6923 on October 16, 2010.

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