Laid Off Day 9(?)


I don’t even know what day it is anymore.  Tuesday was a week so call that 7, then wed and today is thurs so call it 9.

I’m so fucking done.  I’m done with being fucking mr mom, I’m done with being fucking soccer mom, I’m done with being the designated hitter in the middle of the night…..

and then my daughter walks in and says “daddy I’ve got a question…actually I just want a hug”.  omfg.  and I so feel like I don’t deserve it.  that’s so fucking pure, and sweet, it’s like a warm, gentle elegantly fatal dagger through my cold dead heart. the kind of cut you wouldn’t even feel because the blade is so sharp.  you’d only feel the warm trickle after of your life blood spilling out of you.

to top off me being laid off, we’ve all been passing around the sickness.  my daughter’s been home sick a few days, my wife has been too.  last night was the crux of it.  I happened to score an interview with one of the Asheville guys here in town since he was here on unrelated business anyway, so my wife gets home late for me to leave b/c I’m at home watching our daughter, and of course she’s dying.  she just crashes when she gets home so I get the kids set up to minimize them bugging her and I have to take off with her passed out in bed and the kids watching tv and eating mcdonalds.

but I made it to the interview and it was kind of cool.  we ended up just chatting on the beach deck of the hotel he was staying at.  It seems as if I might be getting an offer from these folks.  I don’t want to presume anything.  I’ve also got several other things in the works, but this one is the farthest so far.

but anyway, I get back and my wife is on the floor disrobed, with a box fan on full blast on her, with a blanket wrapped around her.  she’s trying not to vomit.  this is how she gets when she gets that way.   my daughter has also thrown up again.  mind you she was fine AAAAALLLLLL day with me, but as soon as mommy comes home, HUAGH!  so there was that.  so I got the kids into bed and then it was just me.  I had bought some booze last weekend and we had some left over.  turns out my wife had hidden it.  oh don’t worry it wasn’t that hard to find for someone who was trying.  ya, I killed that last night.  and took my psycho drugs.  I was gonna sleep gooooo,…err, not really actually.  daughter was up at 1am with a bellyache again.  well fuck.  least I don’t have to get up early, oh ya I do, I HAVE A FUCKING 3 YR OLD THAT GETS UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN EVERY.FUCKING.DAY.  regardless of when he goes to bed.

so ya, I’m dangerously close to falling off the edge again.  well fuck it.  I don’t even fucking care.  (yesyoudo) STFU NO.I.DON’T.  (yesyoudoandyouknowit) stfu.  just go away and let me kill myself. (no)

so that’s where I’m at.  9 days, 2 company interviews, 2nd interview with 1 company, and a 2nd expected with the other company.  Resume is in to a shitload of places, just waiting.  get to find out tomorrow on payday how short I’m gonna be for this paycheck, and then the real fun will start.  dead period 1 is almost here too with the thanksgiving holiday.  If I don’t score something before the christmas holiday I am truly fucked with dead period number 2.

going to sister in law’s this weekend for an early thanksgiving.  the original plan was we were going to go do that, and then have a staycation here for ourselves but now that’s all fucked up of course.

what’s the plan man?  runnin out of faith here.  not that I had much to begin with.

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~ by sobriety6923 on November 18, 2010.

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