unstable ground – part deaux


it’s been a week now.  it’s been a very painful week.  but it’s getting better.  the pain is still there.  but there’s other things too.

the drive to work is much better.  much much better.  we’re talking like 5 minutes instead of 25.  yay for a smaller carbon footprint!

I get a kick out of my new landlady.  she’s really laid back too.

11 more days till I see my fam.  I hope I don’t build it up too much in my head, but whatever it’ll be, it’ll be great.

went to church today for the first time since I’ve been here.  had a nice lunch with some new folks, then had a great time tonight at a small group with a devo and then watching some football game for a bit.  great group of folks, looking forward to getting to know them better.

<honey, don’t read this part>  I’m starting to feel better about living here.  I can start to see bringing my family up here.  uh oh.  the first month has not been that great, but now we have our first positive indication that a future path here is present.  dunno tho, still a long way’s off.

amazing what a little fellowship and some good soul cleansing prayer will do for you.  and the prayer doesn’t even have to be for you.  when you’re in  a group just praying for all these folks with different problems and you see how minute yours can be in comparison, it’s humbling, but strengthening at the same time.

full disclosure – friday night after work some folks got together for happy hour and I went.  then I wandered around downtown and found a pizza joint with good beer selection.  I may have gotten a little carried away.  I didn’t plan to, but I didn’t try to stop either.  it just happened.  so here we are.  pick yourself up by the boot straps and get back on that horse.

the true measure of failure is not falling, it’s not getting back on the horse and trying again.

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~ by sobriety6923 on February 6, 2011.

5 Responses to “unstable ground – part deaux”

  1. well, so long as you don’t let a few beers destroy all the work you have done and you undertand that you have come far and you can keep building on it.
    My partner went for therapy last year and it seemed to really help. He embarked on a journey of sobriety, it was amazing. He was doing incredibly well and it was like he was a whole person again to the point where I didn’t even perceive him to be suffering with the mental anguish anymore (though he probably was). Then one day, after several months, he “slipped up.” It wasn’t even that bad, just a few beers. I told him it didn’t matter that in no way was he “back at square one” but that is what he felt. It appeared to crush him so much and he just stopped trying, it was like someone fall down the longest flight of stairs. He totally lost heart and has never tried again. I don’t know how to get through to him anymore.

  2. I take a lot of inspiration from the following quote supposedly taken from Thomas A Edison. ya, that one, the light bulb one.

    On being asked about the number of failures when trying to invent the incandescent light bulb….”I didn’t fail, I just found 2000 ways NOT to make a lightbulb”.

    your partner needs to realize how close he may be to success. Only one failure away. my wife threw up her hands at me one day in exasperation “YOU’RE KILLING YOURSELF!” it didn’t really make me stop that day, but it stuck with me and i used it for strength later when I needed it.

    Maybe at least get him to go to a meeting? Go with him? keep your chin up.

  3. and see that’s the thing….I DON’T let a few beers destroy everything. I don’t mind having a few beers here and there, I just know I have to watch it. I’m on about a 3-6 beer a week schedule right now where I was on a 70+ oz hard liquor schedule a week before. I in my expert biased opinion, I’m doing excellent actually.

  4. I don’t think 3-6 beers a week killed anyone. I hope your week improved throughout, it seems like a tough time for you since moving.(gods of vice)

  5. ahhh, there’s the rub. for a normal person it wouldn’t right? for an alkie stepping down from 12 yrs of 10+/night, it’s wary wary dangerous. thanks tho.

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