The Shitz

warning….TMI to follow. SRSLY.

you’ve been warned.

any alcoholic worth his or her salt can tell you all about the shits.  the alcohol shits to be exact.  you go out (or stay in) drinking and you do it for a couple days, and all of a sudden there ain’t nothin solid coming out of you.  you go to the bathroom so much during the day doing number 2 you don’t even have to pee all day.  then the pain starts: you swear to god you’ve got razor blades coming out of your ass.  and then the wiping, and you’ve got blood on the tp while you’re wiping. I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE TMI.  stop gagging.

anyway, any alcoholic worth his salt will also tell you the best way to stop that shit up is Immodium baby. alkie shit’s best friend.  directions say take one as needed, then another, or two for extreme.  well I’m just here to tell you….pop two of those babies and you won’t shit for a week.  you won’t even have a mouse fart for 3 days.  I dunno how that stuff works but it’s golden.

the reason I bring this up is that I’m home now with my family (yay!), and of course the first thing I did is went and got sick from them.  stomach bug.  so I went to the drug store and figured I’d get some pepto without even thinking of the immodium.  dumbass.  yup.  been chugging that stuff all day and barely put the brakes on.  well, I finally gave in and went back to the store and got me some immodium.  hmmmm, mmmhhmm.  now I’ll be able to sleep tonight without a diaper and worrying about shitting myself in my sleep.

just sayin.


~ by sobriety6923 on March 21, 2011.

One Response to “The Shitz”

  1. nice!

    i’m glad you are back with your family.

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