Dottie


Sir, I’m retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person that finds her gets to name her right?

Yes-yes that’s right, that’s right.

I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She’s a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there’s no escape.

*********************************

yup, that pretty much sums up addiction, it seems like sometimes.  but only if you stop fighting I suppose.  I’m finding my resolve being tested again.  took another nose dive today, for no real reason.  just stupid shit that adds up, sets the boat off its keel, then bam; capsize.  I’m sober tonight, but I don’t want to be.

these fucking shortness of breath issues are so pissing me off.  it’s got to be anxiety, it has to be.  I’m gonna go see the doc in a week, he’s gonna say my echo is fine, and write me a new RX, then he’ll be on to the next.    chest pain’s pretty much done with, so’s the arm pain, but still the SOB lingers.  wtf?

I can get on the bike and exercise fine, exertion’s not a problem, it’s just sitting still.  the thing about it tho, I don’t feel stressed like I have butterflies in my stomach or anything, but I do feel tired and stressed all the time just like anyone else dealing with everyday life I spose.

but, am I stressed and get the SOB, or am I stressed about being stressed on top of it and get the SOB?  it’s a vicious cycle, and she’s a vicious life suckin bitch. from which.  there’s no.  escape.

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~ by sobriety6923 on June 2, 2011.

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