well something must be rubbing off on me


this whole going to church and paying attention and taking personal meaning from the sermon bit might be paying off. I’m not writing the following to boast so please don’t take it like that, I just need to get this out of me or it’s going to fester, even tho I think I did the right thing. It’s still new and I’m not sure how to handle these emotions.

this morning driving to work, at one point this little red convertible mustang pulls right in front of me and cuts me off. So I honk my horn at him like “hey buddy I”m about to run you over”. And of course I’m sure that’s not the way he took it. He prolly took it like a horn honking at you sounds: nasty and vulgar and offensive. So he flips me the bird and now we’re stopped at a red light. I’m right behind him and he’s looking at me in his rear view mirror. I throw up my hands in exasperation like “man what is your problem” and I’m sure that’s not the way he took that either, but the dude starts mocking me by imitating me throwing up my hands and whatnot. At this point I could of gone nuclear, remember we’re parked at a red light. But I didn’t. I just flashed him the peace sign. Me, flashing the peace sign. Then I just said to myself, man I hope your day gets better than whatever mood you’re in right now.

So while we’re at the redlight this lady in this other car has her window down and starts talking to him. I can’t hear what they’re saying, and I don’t know if they know each other, but I’ll guess it was about me. She had FL tags, while he’s got Connecticut tags, so I doubt they know each other but who knows. SRSLY? A mustang convertible from Connecticut? does it ever even get warm enough there for that?

neway, after the light he turns off after a while and I just keep going. Didn’t make any other jestures or actions towards him. Just hope he has a better day than whatever caused him to cut me off and be so hateful about it.

it’s an odd thing turning the other cheek. definitely not used to doing that. don’t know how to handle it.

ya, I’d love to have been hateful back. I could’ve thrown the truck in park, got out and accosted him, but I didn’t. would’ve loved to, but it wasn’t worth it. I’ve got a bat in the backseat, but he might’ve had a gun, so that could’ve gone very bad very fast, you never know. Actually, as I replay this in my mind and fantasize about it, I hand him the bat and say “here man, you’re gonna need this” b/c I’m gonna beat the shit out of him after I give him the bat. I don’t need it.

However, I find myself guilty of pride with the amount of restraint I forced on myself. He’s prolly got all kinds of unkind things to say about me, but that’s ok man. I forgive you. I hope you forgive me too for whatever slight you perceive I perpetrated against you. Peace.

couple of sermons ago at church part of it was this: people know what kind of christian you are based on your actions. actions to friends, family, strangers, and even dogs n cats.

I hope I see you again mr red convertible connecticut plates man. I hope you’re in need of help and I’ll be able to help you; and I hope you don’t even recognize me.

I don’t know why I’m like this, this morning. normally I’d be all upside his head. Today is my son’s birthday, he’s 4. maybe that’s it. just on a high b/c of that and it saved me from beating the shit out of this guy with a baseball bat this morning? ya sure, let’s go with that.

I will kill you with kindness.

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~ by sobriety6923 on June 14, 2011.

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