Happy 19th Anniversary
….to my parents. Today, July 4, is the 19th anniversary of the morning I woke up and they told me they were getting a divorce. We were in Germany, it was a Saturday. They talked about it very calmly. We went to fireworks that night as a family.
Most surreal fucking thing I’ve ever experienced. July 4 1992.
July 4 we’re going to fireworks at Ramstein AFB, by the end of July we’re back in the states finalizing the divorce, and by August I’m in a new town and going to a new highschool, living with my mom.
Did it contribute to my habit? IDK. There’s lots of stuff prolly for that. But the point of this post isn’t to try to make any excuses for why I drink, or why I keep drinking. I’m still drinking btw. moderating for the most part.
the point of this post is just a random observation of a distant memory. And maybe it’s why July 4 and fireworks don’t really get me excited. Or maybe it’s because I’m an engineer and to me it’s no big deal having a chemical reaction bottled up and the resultant explosion. (Fire’s a chemical, not physical reaction btw)
either way, Happy 19th to my parents.
aaaand Happy 4th of July to everybody else.
Sobriety is Wasted on the Sober 
I remember that summer so well. I remember you calling me and telling me that you were in PC not Germany. I remember driving to that hotel close to the base to see you. I remember you going to youth group with me and my boyfriend. Awkward!
I remember being so thrilled that one of my best buddies was moving at least close to home. I remember hoping for things to return to the way they were before you moved to Germany–tennis, movies, Miracle Strip, etc. I guess I remember putting my excitement above your sorrow. As I look back on that summer I probably owe you an apology. I’m sorry I wasn’t more sympathetic to your feelings about your parents. I was just happy my friend was home.
y’;know what? you being there while I was going through that was more help than you know. or me too prolly. no need for apologies.at.all. Tennis? bwahahaha, good times, but we both needed a lot of work with that. Movies….Parenthood, Steel Magnolia’s; omg I had no idea what I was getting into being drug to all those chick flicks. heh heh. good times tho. Miracle Strip….I still think of being in that Scrambler ride, Abominable Snowman(?) everytime I hear Nirvana’s Come As You Are. good times indeed. the yin for the yang.
[…] go back to this post : Happy 19th Anniversary Ironically enough, that post on July 4 2011 was just shy of the beginning of my sobriety on Aug 16 […]