You’re fucking up you know


you’re fucking up you know

ya, I know.

you keep drinking.  what, the last month every weekend and most nights during the week?  at the start it was just a couple mike’s hard lemonades at night, then it progressed to vodka on the weekends, now it vodka on the weekends and during the week.  when are you going to put the brakes on?

I already have.  I’ve only been buying the 750ml bottles of vodka.  I’ve resisted buying the big ones.  I’ve at least got that line drawn in the sand.

so what happens when you just keep buying the smaller bottle and keep running out of it too quick, then you finally break down and buy the bigger bottles b/c they’re cheaper per volume?

ya, I know.  you’re right of course.  but I feel fine right now, no chest pains, no shortness of breath.

what about when you try to pull back again and your body goes through the withdrawal again?  hmmm?  didn’t you decide that’s what it was?  with the chestpains and sob?  a mix of everyday stress coupled with withdrawals from trying to cut back or quit the sauce?

ya, I know.  again, you’re right.

so what are you going to do about it?

nothing prolly, not a damn thing.

idiot. 

yup

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~ by sobriety6923 on July 16, 2011.

4 Responses to “You’re fucking up you know”

  1. Mr. Sobriety, the woman that’s your friend wants to thank you for your honesty. I’m proud of you for owning up to this.

    The woman that’s Horse-Girl wants to smack you upside the head.

    I don’t need to remind you that your children’s lives could be permanently scarred if their dad drinks to excess most of the time. I don’t need to remind you that your wife might at some point say “enough is enough, I’m outta here.” I don’t need to remind you that your physical health and mental status can be permanently ruined by excessive alcohol use.
    I don’t need to remind you that you have the potential to completely and irreversibly destroy your life by continuing to drink.

    Been there, done that. So we won’t go down that road again. (or did we just go down that road again?) hehehehe

    I have absolutely no idea what to say to you. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t even know if help is what you’re looking for.

    I’m just going to stand next to you, Mr. Sobriety. That’s all I can do. You’re not gonna stand here alone. I’m standing next to you with hopeful expectation that you’ll figure this out. And until you figure this out, I’m going to stand next to you. I will stand here in support of you and in support of where you’ve been and in support of where you’re going.

    I’m standing next to you, Mr. Sobriety.

  2. thanks HG. thank you very much. I appreciate it.

  3. I’m logging in as a guest. Not because you know me and I’m trying to stay anonymous but because I’m a coward and I don’t want anyone, even complete strangers to have any idea who I am regarding this struggle. Apparently we have a lot in common: we’re about the same age, have kids, enjoy the outdoors, are trying to find our place with religion, we tend to drink too much, are somewhat self-centered, and we’re highly educated with marginal grammar skills when it comes to writing on the internet 😉

    Dude, I read most of your posts in one day to get (caught-up) and have been following it for a couple of months now. I share your struggle with alcohol, not less or more than you, but just different. That said, personally haven’t had a drink other than communion wine (on occasion due to my sporadic attendance) for 263 days now. There are days that I want a beer really bad because work sucked or there are days that I want one because it’s just hot outside and it sounds nice. But I don’t. I don’t because I said I wouldn’t 263 days ago for one entire year. The reason is unimportant to anyone but me and my family but I said I wouldn’t and I haven’t. It was really hard at first. It was constantly on my mind (probably because I told myself I couldn’t) but as each day would pass I would put another day in my iCal. Somedays the only thing keeping me from having that one beer that may lead to six is my tally marks in my iPhone. As the marks add up and I go through different seasons it gets easier and easier. I’m not sure if I was addicted but I definitely had a habit. A habit that found a good place when times where good and when they where bad. But I realized that it exacerbated the bad to a level that I couldn’t fully see because of the alcohol and it’s residual effects.

    I can have another beer according to my 365 day promise but honestly, your posts are making me think I may choose to never have one again. Thank you for opening up to the world, it’s been helpful to me as well as you but I’m afraid it’s been more helpful to me. Your last few posts have been sad, negative and are sounding like you may be sliding back a bit.
    These recent posts have me scared of the day that my 365 day promise is fulfilled. I don’t want to feel the way I used to feel ever again.

    Do yourself a favor and sit down and read all of your posts from the beginning to now. You really seemed to be coming out of it, moving up and up with every post. You need to remember that things seemed pretty bleak and shitty when you first started writing this. I can’t imagine you want to go back to that place. That’s not how we’re supposed to live our life. I know now that god (yes I said god) doesn’t want us to live lives miserable and full of regrets, anxiety and depression. And alcohol is this big sneaky depressant.

    I will continue to pray for you, but I hope you continue to pray for yourself as well and ask god for help regarding this every single day. And give the tally mark thing a try. It’s silly but somedays I don’t feel like I accomplished much, but it feels really good to add another day to my iCal.

    I hope you’re ok,
    ————-

  4. dude, first off, thank you very much for your input. Ironically, or sadly enough, the thing that got me about your comment the most?…Bad grammar? niggah please. I just choose not to. Just channeling my inner Mark Twain I guess. that’s all I’ve got for right now. gonna let the rest marinate for awhile. great input tho. thanks again. will respond more later.

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