Don’t you want to be there for that?

71 today.

I’ve had the biggest problem for the longest time with seeing the future. Soothsayer or Sayer of Sooths I am not. But a scenario was posed to me once by a friend of mine something along the lines of sitting down with my daughter for lunch one day. She’s in her 20’s and done with college, started a career, maybe even a family, and she’s taking time from her busy day to sit down to lunch with her old man. My daughter’s 7 right now btw.

Today, right now, you’re god damned right I want to be there for that. This is the first time in forever I can honestly say I’m beginning to look forward to the future and seeing myself grow old with my wife, as well as guiding my kids into adulthood instead of just saying fuckit I’ll be dead by 40. Our lives had become unmanageable.

For years now I haven’t been able to see past the drink in my hand, into the future and what it will be like when my kids grow up and go through college and start their own careers and families. Now granted, who knows what’s going to happen, but yes, I want to be there for that. I couldn’t see ANY of that with a drink in my hand. no kids growing up, no Highschool prom or sporting events, no college, no marriage or careers. Just a bottle and death.

<scuse me, got something stuck in my eye, need to wipe away whatever this wet stuff coming out of my eye is>

Thank You god I’m turning the corner. And thank you dear reader for being here along the way.

~ by sobriety6923 on October 26, 2011.

5 Responses to “Don’t you want to be there for that?”

  1. That made me smile! Its far better to have the tears of joy in your eyes than the alternative!

    BTW…forgot to tell you…the big book does have a joke in it about the number 69…..

    A woman in AA was working on her 4th step, and asked her sponsor where she could find help on her sexual concerns. Her sponsor referred her to page 69 of the book. Well, the woman rushed home to read it, but in her haste, mixed up the page number and went to page 96 instead…

    So, I’ll let you turn to page 96 for the rest of the joke…

  2. niiiiiice

  3. 358 days on my end. Like I mentioned many posts back I promised myself 365 days and then I would reevaluate. That date has been on my mind recently and has caused some internal discussion. Well I think god sent me a little message. More like a kick in the head. I was in a motorcycle accident on October 8th, the first one I’ve ever been in and most likely the last, (not too fond of my motorcycle right now). Yes, I had my helmet on and no I wasn’t speeding I was just at the wrong sharp turn at the wrong time. The good news is that for the most part I was fine–a little scraped and bruised, but I did sustain a concussion. Not a major one obviously but it took about two weeks before I really felt normal again. When asked by my wife or doctor how I felt, the best and most accurate comparison I could give was that it felt like I had a bad HANGOVER. So there you go, a hangover is like being in a motorcycle accident and smacking your head on the pavement. I really don’t want to experience either ever again.

    burnin’ bush

  4. Point of clarification: *your* life had become unmanageable. I don’t know about how your kids & wife were doing, but my guess is that she’s had to be quite the manager. Clarity is key.

    And while it’s great to notice your children again, and see that you want to live, I would also suggest taking a hard look at that emotion, because sentimentality can be a serious evasion. Irish lit’s wall-to-wall sentimental drunks. It isn’t enough to see your daughter sitting down with her old man. How’s she supposed to get to mid-20s in the first place? Who’s introducing her to the world, making sure she gets a better book-learning education than whatever pap they feed her in school, getting to know her friends and her friends’ parents, helping her practice whatever musical instrument she takes up? Who’s looking out for opportunities for her? It doesn’t happen by itself.

    Don’t rest there, baby. You have to know that girl now if you want to know her at 25, and you have to think about, and then do, what she needs you to do for her to get there in one piece.

    • Point of clarification: agreed, however, I’m simply using “our lives had become unmanageable” as a reference to wording from step 1. “our lives” is a reference to we alcoholics so no worries.

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