The Best Laid Plans

I am not a planner.  I don’t plan.  I barely have anything set up for retirement.  Kid’s college is taken care of because of grandparent funded 529.  Life insurance is through work.  Nothing outside of work, no will.  No living will.

I keep my expectations low so I’m never let down.  I’ve come to realize that a large part of why I don’t plan is b/c I have conditioned myself to be afraid of having my hopes and dreams dashed.  Yup, there’s that nasty little Fear monster rearing its ugly head again. Just pretty much live day to day.

I don’t even plan vacations.  Which brings us to the point of this post.  I’m going on a biking trip with some guys I ride with this weekend, IF all goes well.  I got a phone call back in March from these guys out of the blue “hey, we’re going biking and whitewater rafting, wanna go with?”.  Ummm, hell yes.

Since then, I’ve broken my old bike and gotten a new one, been sick, like missed 3 days of work, got antibiotics,  and still haven’t fully recovered sick, have learned I’m going to miss a dance recital for my daughter, as well as a daisies/brownies bridging ceremony for her; and any number of other obstructions which have threatened to derail these plans.

Even my 8 yr old daughter (whom I’ve taught so well apparently) has joked with me that “maybe god is telling you that you shouldn’t go on this trip”.

Today is Tuesday.  Trip is scheduled for this Thursday.  I will not be at all surprised if something happens at the last minute that causes me not to be able to go.  I expect it.  I’ll be pleasantly surprised if I am able to go, but I live in such fear of anything GOOD happening that I’ve conditioned myself through fear to always expect the worst.

Bike frame broke?  This is why I don’t plan shit. Ya, but you got a new bike and sweet deal at that so quit yer bitchin

Father in law in hospital prior to trip?  This is why I don’t plan shit.  Ya but he’s doing fine and it was outpatient at that, plus he’s got folks to take care of him so ur wife didn’t need to go be there.

Sick right before the trip?  This is why I don’t plan shit. Just load up on the vit c you little whiny snot and go gitrdun.

Missing daughter’s dance recital and bridging ceremony?  This is why I don’t plan shit.  Hopefully the special trip to the zoo was a good replacement like you talked about with her and you’re going to call every night, and there’ll be the vid to watch when you get back too.

Now, to be fair, all these (let’s call’em risks, because I live in a cube farm business environment) RISKS have been mitigated, but it’s been a nerve wracking worrisome process of dealing with everyday life I am just not accustomed to.

But ya, this is why I don’t plan shit.

~ by sobriety6923 on May 15, 2012.

One Response to “The Best Laid Plans”

  1. […] The Aftermath This will be a follow up to The Best Laid Plans. […]

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