300


 

Well that snuck up on me. 300 days today.  10 months, depending on how anal-ystic you want to be about it.  It just kind of hit me over the weekend, “hey, I’ll bet you’re almost at 10 months”, and low and behold here we are.  Been doing good.  Had a couple rough spots within the last week for whatever reason, even had a few cravings.  But I also haven’t been working much, or going to meetings, or talking with my sponsor.  My fault, all.  I spose I’ve just been complacent of late.  Like Cruise Control complacent.

Watched a movie over the weekend called Warrior.  It has Nick Nolte in it, as well as the guy that played Shinzon in the most recent Star Trek Next Gen movie.  Dude was also in Inception.  Anyway, not the point.  Nick Nolte played a recovering alcoholic (boy, they nailed that role for him).  Typical story, abusive alcoholic, wife leaves him, two sons are now estranged as a result.  But at one point in the movie he’s trying to reconcile and he mentions he’s got 1000 days sober (to which the son is apathetic).  Man.  That just kind of hit me.  1000?  Holy crap.  What am I at now, oh I’m coming up on 300.  Sheesh, 1000 is like almost 3yrs.  Nice round number.  And of course at another point in the movie he relapses and whatnot, but the point is, the 1000 just kind of struck a chord.

I’ve been trained well enough to not think about the future with staying sober.  Don’t worry about not drinking tomorrow, just don’t drink today.  That’s a really good mantra.  Every once in awhile I’ll let my mind wander far enough forward to the 1yr mark, but never past that.  Funny too, the same thoughts about 1 yr are there that existed for 6 months.  Just make it to 1yr man, then you can drink again.  Just make it that far…..ummm, no.

Looking forward from day 1 of not drinking it’s impossible to see all the days laid out in front of you.  Looking back from 300 tho, or any number I spose, it’s good to see how far you’ve come.  Not going to bother with a chip, don’t need it; but in 2 more months you WILL be seeing that 1yr chip on here.

As a follow up tho, I am getting better at seeing a future without drinking.  Every once in awhile I’ll come across a situation where I can imagine myself doing that, years from now.  Like this weekend, my daughter was invited to a birthday party and it was held at the grandparents house.  They had a pool party and lots of kids and family over there.  I was just sitting there thinking, ya, I can imagine doing this someday for my grandkids.  Before, I never would’ve even thought of that.  Progress.

TTFN

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~ by sobriety6923 on June 11, 2012.

4 Responses to “300”

  1. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and wow! 10 months is awesome. My husband just got 6 months and he seemed excited but mostly it seemed like disbelief. Or maybe it’s just caution because like you, and everyone in AA, it’s just 1 day at a time. He never shares with me if he feels tempted or not to drink. Like if he talks about he will jinx himself. Anyway I really enjoy reading your blog and the insight it gives me. 🙂

    • thanks for stopping by and congratulations to your husband. 6 months is awesome. 1 day at a time. If he’s like me, I imagine he is. But if he doesn’t feel like sharing it’s no big deal. Hopefully he’s got a sponsor or someone to talk to, and goes to meetings. It’s the only thing that’s got me this far. But ya. Disbelief. After drinking for sooooo long. and now not drinking for this long? never ever thought I’d make it.

  2. Hey! Congratulations on 10 months! It’s amazing how one day at a time works! 🙂

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